Back by Actual Demand - ( Cheers to Unemployment)

Guess whose back? Back AGAIN?... Sorry but when I say (or think) I'm back, I sing it like Eminem. I am sure I am not alone here? Anyone else?

 Anyhoo, just this morning My Beloved informed me that I am the sole reason why he is not currently traveling Australia and getting paid for it.  He came to this conclusion after reading an article about people blogging while traveling and getting paid, coupled with the news that Bruce and Tracey over at Big Family, little income are jumping in a bus and traveling Australia. All this (apparently) means I can just start '...tapping away at the keys for five minuets a day..." and magically conjure up the lifestyle to which he wants to become acustomed.


 Yes. I know! He isn't all there.


He is, however, all for equality and says it is my turn to try for this accustomed lifestyle. Because, clearly, he is shit at it. Actually he didn't say that. I DID.  I figured if it means he leaves me the hell alone while I am on the computer then I'd agree. A smart woman, after all, can always manage to do or get what she wants whilst letting her man think it was all his idea * insert maniacle laughter here.* I don't know exactly what he thinks I will achieve but I do so like to keep my "baby" happy.

Now, I am lucky enough not to have a 'job', well THAT is debateable but for the purposes of this post we shall define a job as leaving the house and doing paid work for someone else ;)  My Beloved has always worked, usually 2 jobs, and god love him at one point 3 jobs. That is not including our small business. So it isn't as though he is asking an awful lot here.

In fact next year when Littlest Miss starts school I was planing on going to work. I just do not know what job I should be looking for. I mean ideally I will be incredibly well paid. Get to tell people what to do, and they'd be quite glad of it. Turns out though,  being a Dominatrix probably isnt really for me. So, after a few wines a couple of Friday nights ago I decided that a job stacking shelves at night for Woolies was a job I could do!

Being one to see things through to the end , or at the very least until I am totally over it, I found myself applying for the job. I decided afterwards it really was not a problem if I got it. I mean I could do it. I also decided that I really should not apply for jobs whilst drinking wine. These revelations were soon forgotten when I realised I didn't actually want the job. Luckily Woolies did not want me either, and I am not sure how I should feel about that...

So I'll just blog instead. ;)

Big Miss is now in High School, so anything I say about her will have to be run past her for sure. She does, of course, have a life. As any teenagers will tell you, parents are embarrassing ( apparently I am particularly embarrassing) there are so many things they say or do that are suddenly horrifying for a teenager.

 Even just driving past a group of their peers can be enough to have them diving to the floor. I am not even joking. That actually happened once. I was driving Aliesha and her friend past the local high school one morning in our old van. The special school bus it had been dubbed affectionately by all. I looked in the rear view to see two teenage girls quite literally on the floor. Despite my demands the get in their seats immediately they stayed there until we were well past the school. I expect the same sort of thing from Big Miss now she is a 'teenager' (today, actually).

I remember when I first started high school. I was so excited! I got up at five that morning, I couldn't sleep with excitement and I was showered, dressed and ready by 6. That was probably the first and quite possibly the last time I was up so early and ready for anything! Big Miss has naturally been in and out of her uniform a few times over the holidays. She is happy with them. Shoes however, have been a source of great distress all holidays.They have to be Black.

The school has been quite adamant that only black shoes will do. I have even received text reminders about the imperitiveness of this shoe colour. That is not the issue, the issue is I refused to buy Converse hi top shoes. So I bought those hideous black leather school shoes. THAT was the issue.

"Mum, I am NOT wearing them."

" I am not spending 90 dollars on shoes love."

"Mum everyone has them."

"I am sure not everyone has them."

"Yes mum, EVERYONE has them."

"Then it looks like you'll be the only one who doesn't." I'd say and continue with what ever it was I was doing. Big Miss would walk off, protesting all the way out of ear shot.

 Naturally I am not completely heartless and I did have plans on buying her the shoes for her birthday. Luckily for me I went to the local school to pay fees and grab a couple of school issue shorts and I saw black hi top shoes for sale and a third of the price. I bought them instead. I continued to let Big Miss believe that her world would end when she went to school in those shoes I had bought earlier. Because I am am just a LITTLE bit heartless it would seem.

Today she received her birthday presents and the shoes were even better than the beautiful silver jewellery box she had been given.  The shoes, though they were not Converse, were at least from a distance a dead ringer. That was acceptable. The socks I had brought earlier in the holidays were not. They were white. They HAVE to be black now, apparently.

Oh well, you win some and you lose some I guess!


Anyone else with a kid in the first year of high school , be it yr 7 or 8? How have you found the preparations? I especially want to hear about the complaints! I dont want to be alone!! ;)

Biggest Miss Graduates

My Beloved and Biggest Miss and I getting some photos taken before the Formal

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Well it happened. Biggest Miss, now known as Aliesha has finished school AND moved out. That is for another post however.

Some shots before the event.

The arrival.

Aliesha's formal partner Nathan and his parents Graeme and Suzie without whom Aliesha's formal arrival and pre photos wouldn't have been so awesome. Graeme and Suzi own A CHEVY Experience and were very generous in allowing us to have A Chevy experience all of our own! Check out their facebook page to find out more. I am giving them this  'plug' with out their knowledge as a way to say thank you for helping to make Aliesha's formal so wonderful!

My Beloved's little bro Billy was graduating as well and this is the only picture I managed to get of the two of them. They stopped by our table to deliver their certificates to us before heading back off to enjoy their night. We were joined by My Beloved's father and Step mum for the evening and friends of Aliesha's parents as well no photos of them sadly, not because they dont exist but because not many were taken and those that were were taken whilst blinking. ;)

Aliesha and Billy finally graduated and done with school!

Aliesha is going to do a Diploma of beauty this year at Tafe and plans to work  but 'not at Maccas' on her 'gap year' as we are calling it. Well done Aliesha. Your father and I are so proud of you. The sky is the limit! xx

Keeping on

Oh dear, it has been so long since I have blogged. It is almost as though I do not know how! Though it could be argued I dont as I could not be bothered trying to gather a worldwide audience. I figure those who come and return to this blog are all I need. So if you have been patiently waiting for my rambles to return God bless you and if you’re new I’d just like to say I am not quite as crazy as I appear… honest!!

Here in Australia we have a week of holidays left and then the school year starts. Unlike last year I am totally organised. I just have to pick up the school book packs this Thursday and I can claim to be officially finished and ready for school.

Mr Cheeky starts in prep and Little Miss is in her last year of primary school. Big Miss is in her final year of high school and already she has plans of her prom and schoolies week on the boil ( I am petrified already!). I hope with so many firsts and lasts happening this year I do not stress myself out too much, it is not often I over think things but when I do by golly do I get myself worked up!

My plans for the year involve doing more on the house and yard. Trying to fight off the urge to force my babies to live with me for ever and of course, on the blog front blog more regularly and add an our house tour section… for no reason other than I love those tours on blogs. I’ll also add a small recipes section. I am not a huge foodie I am more of a ‘this is nice/healthy/easy’ kinda foodie. I might even add some tips/tricks if I could be bothered and I am not making any promises.

Til next time.

The Granny Flat

I have been absent for some time now. Doing things like dealing with two weeks of school holidays. Normally I love school holidays. But these past two weeks have not been fun. Not for the kids and not for My Beloved and I. We have been working and slaving.

It started when I couldn't take my Beloved's complaining about our sleeping arrangements. Being the oldest of five kids and growing up not to far from where we live now I know how important it is for you to have your own space as a kid, especially when there are a few of you. My Beloved on the other hand grew up in suburbia, the oldest of two kids and  therefore doesn't have a bloody clue! Well, he doesn't!.

'I am sick of our bedroom being surrounded by kids.' was the general complaint, it was worded differently depending on what was or was not happening at any given time.

'The kids HAVE to have their own space love.' I'd say.

'So do we!' he'd whine.

'We DO!!' I'd counter and so on and so forth.

Finally I snapped.

'RIGHT! You want a room not surrounded by kids? Then you need to build the granny flat.' I said.

'That would be great but I dont have the time.'

With three jobs and our two business ( still working at the tour business) he was not making excuses so I couldn't say anything. Though I did. ;) Coz that is how I roll.

'Well of it bothers you that much you'll have too find time or shut the hell up!'

Yes, I know. I should have been better than that and just been 'supportive' but I do hate people whining at me. ;)

One night after he had left for work and Big Miss had spent all day rearranging her bedroom into a 'mini' bedsit type deal ( though minus the bathroom and kitchen) I sat down and thought about how I could give everyone what they wanted without having to pay someone else and for that matter without it costing a small fortune.

It was not long after that I had an ingenious idea. IF we could somehow turn what is currently an old piggery but long used as a shed into the guesthouse I have always wanted it to be, we could get The Man Child and Big Miss out of the house ( and that bloody pool table taking up space in our lounge room). Which would mean we could reclaim our old Bedroom ( i.e the biggest in the house) and everyone still gets their own rooms.

'I am a genius!' I proclaimed to an empty lounge room. No one is ever around when I have genius moments or when the house is immaculate, both of which don't keep me up at nights, but it would be great if just once, someone other than the pets  were around to witness it!Then, after my self-congratulatory rush I realised we'd need to buy doors and window and more bricks and tin for the roof and, well lots of stuff. I was a little annoyed at how not genius I had turned out to be.

Because I do love a good daydream I decided to pretend we had all the items needed and I'd just plan it all regardless. Which was the smartest thing I could of done because I soon discovered we had two windows and a sliding door that could be moved from the current placement  ( in our house) and use them in the granny flat. That did mean some bricking up would be required and as luck would have have it could also mean we could 'brick up' a fire place in our bedroom ( where one of the windows is currently 'living'). I was a genius again and I knew that My beloved would be seduced not only by having our old room back but also by the fireplace idea. It was doable!

I waited til he was home the following morning and I hit him with it.

'OH MY GOD ADAM!' I sort of shouted at him. 'I have had  THE MOST ingenious idea!!'

'Sure!' He mocked me, laughing. 'I'll be the judge of genius around here.' he added smiling.

I told him all about it and dragged him from room to room selling the idea. I ended with the icing on the cake, the fireplace.

'Of course, with this window gone,' I said as his eyes glazed over with an 'oh my god that is a LOT of work' look 'We could replace it with a fire place! A Fire Place!' I said again.' Imagine going to sleep with a fire going, how romantic.' I said nudging him suggestively ( hey what ever works!!) he laughed, but I knew I had sold it!

'You know,' he said to me ' I do actually have enough tin to cover the shed...'

'YESSSSSSSSS!' I shrieked. ( I get excited easily it seems.)

We have been planning, discussing and even started doing some of the requirements towards turning the shed from, well, a shed to a basic but fully liveable granny flat. There is no plumbing going in, I figure I'll be assured to actually see the bigger two that way, because everyone has to use the toilet and bathe after all!

Stay tuned for more. I am soooooooo excited! :D

The Man Child pulling the old rusty tin off the shed roof. One photo for now...
I want more work to have passed before I bombard you all with pics!

A Milly moment, hypochondria and nicknames.

There is always a hypochondriac in every family. The extent of their hypochondria usually differs one family may have someone who checks themselves in to the hospital on a regular basis another family may have one that freaks out a little about something. When it comes to choking I am the freak the hell out and worry about how stupid you look later kind. I am not even the hypochondriac in our family. Little Miss is. She has cemented her place in that role over the years for a number of things from a small mossie bite (that was a little red) making her 'so incredibly itchy' to a splinter, so small I still question whether or not it even existed, requiring a dramatic 'get it out, get it out'.

Last week however was a classic 'Milly Moment' and has been the source of entertainment for the Man Child ever since. It has also been the source of more dramatics for Little Miss. It started, like most things do around here, with everyone playing outside while I was drifting between putting clothes in the dryer and washing machine and folding and putting clothes away.

"Oh mum" came some sobbing far off in the distance "Oh MUM, MUUM, MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM." the hysterical cross between a scream and a cry was coming closer and I started running outside. Oh my god I thought what has happened.

"WHAT? WHAT"S WRONG???"

"MUUUUUUUUUUM I have rabies, I have rabies, ohhhhhhh no I think I have rabies!' Little Miss sobbed and stopped running she stood on one leg holding the other with tears streaming down her face. I stopped worrying after I heard the word rabies.I knew there and then it was just another Milly Moment.

"You don't have rabies darling."

"What happened?" I asked looking at her ankle that aside from some moisture and some dirt on it, it looked to be in damn fine shape.

"We were running. We were playing tiggy and (sob) and then (dramatic breathing) the dog bit my ankle (talking, breathing and sobbing faster) and there was all this foam stuff on my ankle (starts crying again) and now I probably have rabies!!"

"Mill, trust me, you don't have rabies."

By now the kids had made their way up from the paddock and  Littlest Miss had been woken by the commotion.

"She is fine mum." The Man Child told me laughing " They were chasing each other and I was mucking around with the dogs. Buster grabbed her ankle and she looked at him then started screaming about foam and how she had rabies. It was so funny."

"Shut up Ashlee!" Little Miss cried. " It is not funny!! I could have rabies."

"Oh my god" the Man Child said, "you think you have rabies... that is the first sign of having rabies!!"

"Ash." I warned

"It is not funny when someone has rabies!" Little Miss cried as she ran inside to wash her ankle.

" Don't Ash." I told him as the girls started talking about how funny it was. Later that night as we all sat down for dinner the Man Child who was in a jovial mood started to annoy his sisters, Little Miss as usual took the bait and began to get up set.

" Calm down rabes." the Man Child joked.

" DON'T CALL ME RABES!!!" Little Miss yelled

" Oh NO, mum, I think Milly definitely has rabies... getting in a rage from a simple comment is the second sign..."

All week at some point in the day someone has referred to her as Rabes. At first she was upset but now she realises that if she does not want to keep the nickname for life she had better not react. Turns out the kids have nicknames for each other that I had never previously known before they are as follows

Little Miss - Humpback your dads fat. ( though now it has been replaced with Rabes)
Miss Independent - Skelator
Miss Thinker - Pimple Bum
The Man Child - Chubby
Big Miss -Freckle fart from Kmart ( but she decided to try and start a new name of Goldielocks, it just doesn't have the same ring to it does it?)
Mr Cheeky- Devil
Littlest Miss- Brat ( though Miss Thinker goes further and gives her entire nickname- Annoying little brat child)

How is that? What horrible siblings! Though they do all assure me they are meant and said with love! Must run in the family as My Beloved's nickname ( that I call him) is fat boy .Mine is  unknown because as he told me I call you a lot of things, just not to your face ;)  Sadly I'd better clarify he is more than likely joking OK!

Mother Quotes and Us

I was reading a post at Psychology Today after Google searching for Mother quotes, it popped up and I found what I wanted a list of quotes, about mothers to help me write this in between getting breakfast ready, kids dressed for school and dropped off and finished before I go to visit my mother for a few hours this morning. So a little ten mother quotes and how accurate they are, in our family. You will note there are forty others I didn't bother reading or read but didn't want to actually put all that much though process into the post so ignored.

#1 A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. -Tenneva Jordan

This is very true in our house and it extends further than pie, it goes all the way to cakes, pastries, lollies, ice cream even dinner items if someone has burnt or not put enough on ( doesn't happen often but when it does I wanna cry.) It does not however extend to chocolate. NO NO NO!

#2 A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. -Peter De Vries

The older my kids get and the more of them we have the truer this becomes. We are not even suburban we are rural. Sympathies accepted.

#3 Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. -Pearl S. Buck

I am the queen of scolding lately, in fact I tend to scold more often than not but when I do breakout the kissing god help those little and not so little tackers I could just eat them up they are that damn cute!

#4 All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. -Oscar Wilde,The Importance of Being Earnest

There is a big part of my mother in me, but sadly an even bigger part of my father, much to everyones chagrin  But the real tragedy of this is that Big Miss is every ounce her mother... I really feel for her future husband, I do hope he is secure in his manhood and has a great sense of humor!!

#5 Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. -Lisa Alther

This strikes me as particularly true at any moment on any given day, except shortly after waking... every plane would crash and burn if I was in control of the skies... of course I wouldn't personally be comfortable with a air traffic controller's only qualification being a mother, as there are times mothers lets something 'drop' ( well I do anyway) for the overall good and knowing my luck I'd be in the plane that dropped.

#6 Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it don't mean a thing. -Toni Morrison, Beloved

Yes this is very true of all parents I am sure. I don't care that two of my kids are either a year older than I was when I had the Man Child or a year younger, they are my little kids and always will be. Hell, I still feel the need to remind the Man Child to wash his face hair and bits every time he walks towards the bathroom... If possible I'd still dress Big Miss in frilly dresses and a nappy... the older she gets the more I wish I could!

#7 There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any mother who says the above quote is not true, is lying through her teeth. Full stop. End of discussion.

#8 When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. -Erma Bombeck

This one is very apt when it comes to me. They are called lectures by the bigger two but they will be listened to and they will be absorbed, if for no other reason than they know damn well they will hear the advice and reasons ( good and bad) over and over again, until they obviously have learnt from them.Because that's how I ( mothers) roll.

#9 Mothers are all slightly insane. -J.D. Salinger

Ain't that the truth? 

#10  By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Ditto.

Well i managed to finish this between getting breakfast and driving one lot of kids to catch their bus, the other three have  15 mins at best to get to school before they consider themselves late which I think just proves how true #5 and 2 are, also, possibly #9. Time for me to tidy up this god forsaken mess and visit my mummy. Have a great day!