A Milly moment, hypochondria and nicknames.

There is always a hypochondriac in every family. The extent of their hypochondria usually differs one family may have someone who checks themselves in to the hospital on a regular basis another family may have one that freaks out a little about something. When it comes to choking I am the freak the hell out and worry about how stupid you look later kind. I am not even the hypochondriac in our family. Little Miss is. She has cemented her place in that role over the years for a number of things from a small mossie bite (that was a little red) making her 'so incredibly itchy' to a splinter, so small I still question whether or not it even existed, requiring a dramatic 'get it out, get it out'.

Last week however was a classic 'Milly Moment' and has been the source of entertainment for the Man Child ever since. It has also been the source of more dramatics for Little Miss. It started, like most things do around here, with everyone playing outside while I was drifting between putting clothes in the dryer and washing machine and folding and putting clothes away.

"Oh mum" came some sobbing far off in the distance "Oh MUM, MUUM, MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM." the hysterical cross between a scream and a cry was coming closer and I started running outside. Oh my god I thought what has happened.

"WHAT? WHAT"S WRONG???"

"MUUUUUUUUUUM I have rabies, I have rabies, ohhhhhhh no I think I have rabies!' Little Miss sobbed and stopped running she stood on one leg holding the other with tears streaming down her face. I stopped worrying after I heard the word rabies.I knew there and then it was just another Milly Moment.

"You don't have rabies darling."

"What happened?" I asked looking at her ankle that aside from some moisture and some dirt on it, it looked to be in damn fine shape.

"We were running. We were playing tiggy and (sob) and then (dramatic breathing) the dog bit my ankle (talking, breathing and sobbing faster) and there was all this foam stuff on my ankle (starts crying again) and now I probably have rabies!!"

"Mill, trust me, you don't have rabies."

By now the kids had made their way up from the paddock and  Littlest Miss had been woken by the commotion.

"She is fine mum." The Man Child told me laughing " They were chasing each other and I was mucking around with the dogs. Buster grabbed her ankle and she looked at him then started screaming about foam and how she had rabies. It was so funny."

"Shut up Ashlee!" Little Miss cried. " It is not funny!! I could have rabies."

"Oh my god" the Man Child said, "you think you have rabies... that is the first sign of having rabies!!"

"Ash." I warned

"It is not funny when someone has rabies!" Little Miss cried as she ran inside to wash her ankle.

" Don't Ash." I told him as the girls started talking about how funny it was. Later that night as we all sat down for dinner the Man Child who was in a jovial mood started to annoy his sisters, Little Miss as usual took the bait and began to get up set.

" Calm down rabes." the Man Child joked.

" DON'T CALL ME RABES!!!" Little Miss yelled

" Oh NO, mum, I think Milly definitely has rabies... getting in a rage from a simple comment is the second sign..."

All week at some point in the day someone has referred to her as Rabes. At first she was upset but now she realises that if she does not want to keep the nickname for life she had better not react. Turns out the kids have nicknames for each other that I had never previously known before they are as follows

Little Miss - Humpback your dads fat. ( though now it has been replaced with Rabes)
Miss Independent - Skelator
Miss Thinker - Pimple Bum
The Man Child - Chubby
Big Miss -Freckle fart from Kmart ( but she decided to try and start a new name of Goldielocks, it just doesn't have the same ring to it does it?)
Mr Cheeky- Devil
Littlest Miss- Brat ( though Miss Thinker goes further and gives her entire nickname- Annoying little brat child)

How is that? What horrible siblings! Though they do all assure me they are meant and said with love! Must run in the family as My Beloved's nickname ( that I call him) is fat boy .Mine is  unknown because as he told me I call you a lot of things, just not to your face ;)  Sadly I'd better clarify he is more than likely joking OK!

Mother Quotes and Us

I was reading a post at Psychology Today after Google searching for Mother quotes, it popped up and I found what I wanted a list of quotes, about mothers to help me write this in between getting breakfast ready, kids dressed for school and dropped off and finished before I go to visit my mother for a few hours this morning. So a little ten mother quotes and how accurate they are, in our family. You will note there are forty others I didn't bother reading or read but didn't want to actually put all that much though process into the post so ignored.

#1 A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. -Tenneva Jordan

This is very true in our house and it extends further than pie, it goes all the way to cakes, pastries, lollies, ice cream even dinner items if someone has burnt or not put enough on ( doesn't happen often but when it does I wanna cry.) It does not however extend to chocolate. NO NO NO!

#2 A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. -Peter De Vries

The older my kids get and the more of them we have the truer this becomes. We are not even suburban we are rural. Sympathies accepted.

#3 Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. -Pearl S. Buck

I am the queen of scolding lately, in fact I tend to scold more often than not but when I do breakout the kissing god help those little and not so little tackers I could just eat them up they are that damn cute!

#4 All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. -Oscar Wilde,The Importance of Being Earnest

There is a big part of my mother in me, but sadly an even bigger part of my father, much to everyones chagrin  But the real tragedy of this is that Big Miss is every ounce her mother... I really feel for her future husband, I do hope he is secure in his manhood and has a great sense of humor!!

#5 Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. -Lisa Alther

This strikes me as particularly true at any moment on any given day, except shortly after waking... every plane would crash and burn if I was in control of the skies... of course I wouldn't personally be comfortable with a air traffic controller's only qualification being a mother, as there are times mothers lets something 'drop' ( well I do anyway) for the overall good and knowing my luck I'd be in the plane that dropped.

#6 Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it don't mean a thing. -Toni Morrison, Beloved

Yes this is very true of all parents I am sure. I don't care that two of my kids are either a year older than I was when I had the Man Child or a year younger, they are my little kids and always will be. Hell, I still feel the need to remind the Man Child to wash his face hair and bits every time he walks towards the bathroom... If possible I'd still dress Big Miss in frilly dresses and a nappy... the older she gets the more I wish I could!

#7 There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any mother who says the above quote is not true, is lying through her teeth. Full stop. End of discussion.

#8 When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway. -Erma Bombeck

This one is very apt when it comes to me. They are called lectures by the bigger two but they will be listened to and they will be absorbed, if for no other reason than they know damn well they will hear the advice and reasons ( good and bad) over and over again, until they obviously have learnt from them.Because that's how I ( mothers) roll.

#9 Mothers are all slightly insane. -J.D. Salinger

Ain't that the truth? 

#10  By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Ditto.

Well i managed to finish this between getting breakfast and driving one lot of kids to catch their bus, the other three have  15 mins at best to get to school before they consider themselves late which I think just proves how true #5 and 2 are, also, possibly #9. Time for me to tidy up this god forsaken mess and visit my mummy. Have a great day!