My7LittleAustralians: Objection!

It is Wednesday afternoon.I am stuck in the house because it is raining. I like to get outside. But instead, I am in the house with seven screaming kids. In the middle of the school holidays with a fully packed camping trailer ready to go.

I am forced to listen to my wife's blogs, everyone she has ever written, TWICE! Waiting for a patch of blue sky, not game to get my hopes up OR make eye contact for fear of hearing another blog. I figure if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. There is nothing on telly, we have watched all the DVDs 100 times over. There is nothing to do. So here I am.

She has been nagging me to write something and though I don't mind talking.
Putting pen to paper is not my style. After hearing her posts I would like to clear up any confusion as to what I am really like. I am not accident prone. It just seems when I stuff up, it makes it on to this blog or Facebook, picture and all!

I know this because the other day a complete stranger asked me if I was 'better yet'. I wondered how does she even know this! Another time I went to climb a ladder at work and was told 'We have heard about your ladder expertise you better get off'. I have only ever fallen off one ladder! Everyone has fallen off a ladder once... haven't they?

There seems to be this misconception that i am Tim the Toolman, this is not the case. Even though there are about 500 jobs still half completed... I blame the finance department.

Here I am getting ready to take the girls on a little sailing expedition.

I object to the nature in which our camping trips are portrayed. These false allegations of doom and gloom and calamity is just simply not the case. Camping trips are my Forte. Granted, I may want to go camping more than the average person and even have been called Alby Mangles from time to time. I am not a nature lover or a bird watcher. As I take, TVs,DVDs Generators and the even kitchen sink. No literally, when we first started building the house it happened to be just before a camping trip so I took the kitchen sink and Emma's gas oven camping. Even she must admit a roast dinner on the beach was the envy of the point.

I take a lot of pride in setting up my camping spots, something with which SHE would know nothing about. It might look like random placement but if the planets would all just align my spot would be hard to beat! And I have pictures to prove it! As I keep telling her I am a paid proffessional, I do this for a living! Emma IS a stick in the mud. There will be sand. Sand will get in the tent and in your arse. If it rains, yes you will get wet. As for sand flies, can someone please tell her about insect repellent.

The kids love camping everyone is always smiling and having fun. My camping trips may be a cross between Malcom Douglas and Russel Coight but it is not a camping trip unless there is some blood. I enjoy getting lost, breaking down and getting bogged. As long as you appear calm in these situations people seem to think you know what you are doing! I think this is where my Emma and I differ. As she likes to control the universe wants to know what time we are getting there, eating, leaving, the activities planned for the day and where the hell can she plug her computer in. Heaven help us if we are behind schedule.

She drives herself mad asking me these questions. As I do not know and do not care! She may not like to admit it but she does seem to have fun on occasions we do have photos of her enjoying it, though not many . I am pretty sure she dives out of the camera range to avoid confirmation!

We got to see the little hut made to shoot the xxxx comercial a couple of years ago.
If we had not have gone, imagine the wonder the kids would have missed ( and the free hats and stubbie coolers)