A Letter To A Child That Will Never Be Sent

Dear Son/Daughter

Sometimes mummy just wants you to pick up your toys and stuff without having to scream like a deranged lady. What is so hard about picking up your crap when you are finished with it?

Sometimes Mummy just wants you to have fun that does not involve running and screaming in delight. What is so wrong with having quiet fun, sitting in one spot, not making any noise?

Sometimes Mummy just wants you to eat the food she gives you with a closed mouth and to then silently smile and take your plate to the sink, wash it up and put it in the rack. It is OK if you don’t dry and put it away.

Sometimes Mummy just wants to go to the toilet in peace. She really does not want to solve a problem or decided who had that doll first, you see, the truth is mummy does not care who had it first, she just wants to ‘go potty’.

Sometimes Mummy does not need to hear every single thought you have about well, anything. You don’t always have to tell her about your dreams that you may or may not have had it is OK she does not need to know!

Sometimes Mummy does not care that your brother is looking at you in a way you do not like. Lots of people look at mummy in ways she does not like all the time but you do not see her screaming out ‘don’t looooooooooooook at meeeeeeeee’ even though she might like too.

Sometimes Mummy does not care about that tiny insignificant scratch that sent you inside screaming blue murder, demanding a band aid, you see, you don’t need one, you just need to harden up.

Sometimes Mummy does not want to be your friend any more either, but she does not tell you that.

Sometimes Mummy just wants you to shut the hell up and go to bed. She does not care that you have only just gotten up.

Sometimes Mummy does not care about the boy or girl who is really cute and says funny things. You won’t remember their name in five weeks time so mummy does not want to bother learning it now.

Sometimes Mummy would love to scream ‘Get to the bloody point!’ when you tell a story. Because even though the names have changed the point is always going to be one of a small number of points that have always been the  same as it has for every kid, through out time memorial.


Sometimes Mummy does not want to watch you do that thing, because, well it is not really that good and she wants to keep doing what ever it is she is doing.



Sometimes Mummy just wants to leave you in the shopping centre/car park or vicinity that you are in when you decide to have a tantrum or get the sulks. But she does not. Aren’t you lucky?

But Mummy will ALWAYS love you no matter what you do or say.

LOVE MUMMY
 XXXX