Day 10 Blog Everyday in May- Most Embarrassing Moment/s

I’d like to start by saying how much I have healed from what was the most embarrassing and traumatic experience for me. It actually took me 10 years to stop physically shuddering when ever I thought of it. True story! The very fact that I am sharing this with people who I do and do not know from all over the world should tell you that I have moved on. So feel free to laugh your arses off at my expense. It is OK. I can handle it.

I’d also like to add that ALL my embarrassing moments have been a wardrobe related malfunction ( or in this case partially wardrobe related). All have had something to do with the nether regions. Lets ponder that for a moment. Hmmmmmmm lets not.The MOST embarrassing moment of my life occurred when I was 15. It lasted for at least 10 hours and just got worse and worse and worse until I finally got home,fell into bed and managed to fall asleep. Oh sweet relief. Then of course I had to wake up and go back to school the next day.

It began the lunchtime of the day we were off to go via a bus, with every student in the dance and drama classes in my high school to Brisbane.We were to watch some famous dance company preform a contemporary dance about something. You will have to forgive me as most of that 10 hour period I have blacked out, except for those parts I really, really wanted too. You know, the MOST traumatic bits.

The embarrassment started fifteen minuets into the 10 hours. It was of course my wardrobe choice. We were told, and I do remember this bit CLEARLY, ‘to get very, very dressed up.’ my friend Sam and I took that seriously and we put A LOT of thought into our outfit choice. Mine was a red mini dress,a navy blue sports jacket ( OH SHUT UP, I WAS A TEENAGER!!!), black tights and black high heels. My hair and make up was not quite as ‘evening’ but less IS more you know!

We left the school toilet block and started what I have forever more termed ‘the walk of mortification’. To set the scene you need to understand every student in the school, aside from the kids in detention or the library (so my friends) were seated in the area I had to walk. With in seconds the entire area erupted into wolf whistles and calls of all sorts. I was embarrassed straight away. But with a head held high and a don’t give them the satisfaction attitude I managed to walk half of the way to the meeting point. Then I dropped my bag.

Without thinking I bent down, legs straight to pick it up. The whistles and calls erupted again and I just wanted to sink into the ground. But instead I quickly straightened up and tried to continue, in heels the rest of the way, without breaking into a crying run. I finally made it into the sanctuary of the school office only to see everyone except my friend was wearing some kind of denim outfit. “OMG I AM WAAAAAAAAAAAY OVER DRESSED” I thought completely forgetting the embarrassment of ‘out there’.

Now I had the different kind of embarrassment of a hundred of your peers, teenage female peers no less, smirking to each other about my outfit choice. I briefly considered faking some kind of terrible illness but I realised that wouldn’t work so I’d have to stand tall and pretend it didn’t bother me at all. Not long after I managed to gain my composure and ignore the sideway stares the Deputy Principal came up to me and said ‘That is an interesting choice of dress Emma, where is the rest of it?’

‘What about her!’ I wanted to scream and point to my friend who was also wearing skin tight clothing that was too old for her. But I didn’t because that would not have been very nice. Finally we made it to the bus and safely arrived in Brisbane two hours later. Ok so I imagine you thinking ‘yeah that would have been embarrassing but come on THE most embarrassing thing to EVER happen?’ and I would say to you ‘I am not finished yet! It got worse and worse and worse remember? I said that up there ^.

So where was I? Oh that’s right, the ‘it got worse’ part. After walking past a million people pretty much all of who at least slightly noticed my over dress and terrible wobble that can only come from wearing a pair of heels that are too damn high and exasperated by the fact that I had actually never walked in heels before. We finally made it to the venue and we walked up the stairs to then walk down more stairs to get to our seats. Naturally I fell down three stairs and knocked two people over.

THE CALM BEFORE THE REAL STORM

I obviously did not pay any attention to the dancers and spent the whole time wishing that we could just go home. I really was starting to lose my ‘I can do this’ attitude. Finally it was over and time to walk to the food court ( of where ever the hell we were), that was great because that meant that we had 30 minutes until we could board the bus and go home. hallelujah!

 I was feeling buoyed by this fact and I knew I could deal with it. I could make it home with out breaking down. I ordered my favourite dish Mongolian lamb and rice. I chatted with my friends and I was starting to feel better. Soon it was time to board the bus and we were off. My friend needed to use the toilet and was directed to the back of the bus. I sat awkwardly silent til she returned and we chatted for twenty minuets. Then the first of the searing pains gripped my stomach and I fought off passing gas.


‘Oh no I can not fart on this bus,’ I freaked to myself. ‘NO! I will hold it!’
Then another pain and another shot across my stomach and knew what I had to do. I had to use the toilet. '

‘Shit.’ I said, out loud this time.

‘What’s wrong?’ Sam asked me.

‘I need to go to the toilet.’

‘It is back there.’ she said to me.

‘I know where it is,’ I hissed at I her ‘I NEED to go to the toilet.’ I said to her again.
Sam laughed a little nervously for me and said hesitantly ‘ It is fine, just go and wait a few minuets before opening the door.’

‘Ok, good idea.’


I walked from the front seat of the bus to the very back and closed the door. I knew straight away from the explosiveness of the call of nature that everyone in at least a five row radius had heard something. Finally I felt safe enough to leave the toilet and quickly opened the door and closed it behind me. It didn’t help the “Oh my gods’ and ‘ ewwwws’ were barely audible and the smell had beaten me to the front of the bus.

‘Kill me now.’ I thought and I sat there strangely happy that the pain and urgency I was experiencing had gone. That relief lasted ten minutes and it was back. Finally I could not hold off any longer and I had to walk back up the bus. ‘Oh here we go again someone’ said as I closed the door behind me. I came out again with my head low and quickly  sunk into the seat and just wanted to die because I felt the pains again and I had to go back.


‘Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo’ I cried inside my head and I stopped listening to the murmurs and whispers of my bus full of peers as I walked back up the aisle for the third and not the last time. The walk on two other occasions I have managed to black out but the sixth and final time I will never forget because as I got up to go EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the bus let out an involuntary ‘Oooooooh noooooo, not again!’ If I could have, I would have sunk through the floor of the bus and never been seen or heard of again.


But I couldn’t and twenty minuets later we were mercifully back at the school and I could see my father standing at the designated pick up point. I stood up before the bus had stopped. I was standing at that door itching to get out. Nobody chastised me, no one gave me a lecture about standing on a moving bus. I now imagine that both the teachers and the bus driver on board were either really glad I was getting off or realised that I wanted off and I’d probably claw my way out of the windscreen if I had to.

My father was standing at the door and I said ‘Oh thank god you are here dad, I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life. Please lets just go home now.’ and I walked off to our car. I didn’t say good bye to anyone I just left. If we spoke on the way home I do not remember as I spent the whole trip remembering and cringing at all the details of the day.

 The next morning  I suggested I didn’t want to go to school.
‘Oh don’t be silly.’ my mother said to me and that was the end of that. I went to school and suffered the jokes and the stares and pointing, But it was nothing, NOTHING compared to the bus trip home the night before.

I'll catch up with the other days I have missed over this weekend. But in a strange way i am glad my computer and I became friends today because day number 10 was part of the reason I liked this Blog everyday in May challenge. I guess you know you are completely over something like that when you can happily blog about it! Now if you have something more embarrassing than that LEAVE a comment, I want to hear it! :)