How To Get Organised For School The Stress Free Way

I must confess. The title is very misleading. This post is more a 'Mother makes good' story when it comes to the 'Back to School' madness that grips us all. Well nearly all. I do have a stress free way to get  ready for another school year, it just has never really worked before now. So read on if you are somewhat intrigued, besides it is always nice to hear how sometimes things go right without you actually having to put any real effort into it at all. We mothers deserve that at least once in a while. Wouldn't you agree?

I have been lazy for near two months now and loving it! This year the school holidays have actually been relaxing for the first time in 18 years. I have come to the time of year where the kids start back at school and I am normally  running around doing school shopping with either limited resources or lots of kids clinging to me or quite literally in labour, holding up traffic as I kriss cross the road, going into each store I need to, to ensure everyone has all the bits and bobs required to be this years Dux of the the class... OK so THAT may not have happened yet, but there is still hope! Age Champion does not count. And I still have two yet to start school. There is always hope!!

And there is always, always hope. Yes I have said that a lot and I better be able to back that statement up. I get that. I can. Because I have spent precisely ( well not precisely but pretty close) to two hours getting school supplies. That includes ordering, thinking, covering, buying and preparing any thing to do with school. Now considering I have five at school, two in high school and doing tafe courses,I think that is an achievement worth the time I spend typing this post.

How? What secrets do you have to share? You may be wondering and I am happy to share them with you right now. Do nothing! I mean, you have to do something, but it is nothing compared to the usual run around.


Step 1 Shopping for school  - You need to have a family member owe you a sum of money  (karma people), it does help if that family member only has one child still at home and it is a real positive if that family member enjoys shopping. Simply agree to the said family member taking three of your children shopping for all their bags, lunching utensils, shoes, socks, hats and other bits. The particular family member I chose also happens to be very good at saving money and knows how to not only get a bargain but a quality one.

Step 2 Book Lists -  Don't give them a moments thought. Don't pre order. Have a 'She'll be right mate' kind of attitude instead of the usual Rainman like attitude, you know where you go over the booklists of each child and their class and figure out what you have, what you need to get and what you can safely ignore ( like that box of tissues if you have two kids in the same class and they just do not GET colds anyway) or that particular brand of colour pencil. Then with a week to go before school starts and you have nothing prepared, start thinking to yourself.

'Hmmmmmm I possibly should have taken advantage of that back to school sale they had two weeks ago.'

Within 48 hours of that thought (and still no attempts made to actually do anything about it) you will find that the school principal will call you and you can just mention to them how spectacularly unprepared for the new school year you are, and that you were really hoping beyond hope that you actually sent the forms back to school in the last term of the year before to say you would indeed be taking advantage of the school book packs. You hopes will be dashed momentarily by the answer in the negative but then *angelic chorus*  you will be informed that book packs were purchased for all three of your children who are students at the school because ' I know what you're like.' and 'You always do buy them.' ( don't be offended by the 'I know what you're like.' statement as it was not meant that way... I am sure! ;) )

Step 3 Go Food Shopping -   By Food Shopping I really mean shoot into town for the basics because you can't put it off any more and technically the holidays are over (and you have to eat) whilst there pick up the last few items you need for everyone. Come home unpack the bags and pat yourself on the back. You are done. You have achieved the impossible. You have organised primary, highschool and tafe requirements for five children for  another year with no effort at all!

When things go right they sure as hell go right around here!

How were your back to school preparations this year?

A New Family Member- Meet Oscar

I have nothing to say, I really do not. I have been sewing slip covers ( well actually only one so far) and trying desperately to get around to finishing off the furniture arrangement in our room (since I knocked those walls down I have had to rethink where things are going and IF I will be keeping it at all).

We are caring for a tailless (runner) Scaly Breasted Lorikeet that was being attacked by his 'friends' down the bottom of our driveway. My Beloved's step mum saved him and passed him to us... we are loving his presence and he seems to love us too.

Big Miss and Oscar

Apart from his food I bought ( as I really was not interested in 'making' it up from scratch coz I am lazy like that ;) )  Mr Cheeky and I go and collect a heap of flowers every morning and every afternoon so he can have a treat. I throw in the odd peach from our tree here and there too.

(He loves the Hibiscus at the moment.)

What you looking at?!

He surprised us with how friendly he is.

The Man Child and Miss Thinker have taken a huge shine to him.

 I have also been waiting patiently for the Man Child and My Beloved to do more of the back yard, which they assure me will happen tomorrow, besides that I have been busy doing 'life'. More tomorrow, I promise!

 I am tired and ready for the Xmas Holidays... SLEEP INS HERE I COME!!!!!

Customer Service

This past week has consisted of me trying  to get things done and failing spectacularly. It has also opened my eyes to the appealing lack of customer service skills of many stores in my local area. I usually find everyone to be pleasant and helpful. I am always mindful of the fact the people behind the counters at any of the businesses I go into are there to do a job and have to deal with the public ( who can at times be incredibly stupid and very rude) and I always try to make sure I smile and am polite and friendly, unless I am tired or have the shits, then I'll still smile and be polite but I wont be one for a chat.

I have however had two shocking moments of utterly terrible customer service the first left me shocked and certain to never shop there again and the other left me furious and kinda wishing I was a man who happened to be built like an ox and didn't have a problem causing a 'ruckus' in a seaside towns' shopping centre car park. I wont go into detail except to say this...

Don't assume that just because a store is a well known fabric and other related items retailer, it will have nice, crafty, homey type people, who are more than happy to help. Or even have the items advertised on sale in their catalogues in stock. You should in fact expect them to actually have the shits with you for asking if they do have these advertised things in stock especially if they have to go looking out the back and you don't want to 'come back Monday'. If you should happen to have a three year old son who is feeling very hot to the touch and out of the blue decides to vomit all over you as you (stupidly, it turns out) run out of the store with him so he does not vomit all over the store (whilst you are running out the three year old manages to spew all over you, and I do mean ALL OVER YOU) do not expect to return to find the fabric you were going to purchase actually has been cut or that the sleeping 11 month old you left in the pram by the counter to be there. Expect to find both the 'sales assistant' and the baby gone, just not together. 

Also do not expect to go shopping in a local seaside towns' IGA and manage to put the groceries in the car and drive off to your destination, apparently it is not as simple as that. In fact, expect the man, who you would be forgiven in thinking was a drunkard sitting in the gutter outside the bottle shop, ( that is situated next to the said IGA) to walk over to your car as you are reversing and COMPLETELY IGNORE YOUR THREE ATTEMPTS at asking him what he wants. Expect him also to stick his head INSIDE your car and take a good look around with a cocked eyebrow and an arrogant look on his face. Then expect him to walk off back into the bottle shop. If you are anything like me, expect to fight off the very strong urge to pull back into the parking spot and go into the bottle shop and find out exactly what he thinks he was doing and let him know just what you think of him. If you are like me, the only thing stopping you would be the fact you have small children in the car. Turns out (if you asked the teenage boys in the back of the car what the hell just happened) you can not expect to buy a carton of coke cans without complete strangers thinking you are stealing the little red shopping baskets!

But one thing I have found is I can expect to go into my bank branch and come out with both money AND a kids video! But that is another story!

I hope your week was better than mine!

Welcome To The World Twinnies!

Malachi Lee and Asher Lee Hamilton made a easy (well for me) entry into the world on the 28th of November 2012. Asher was born at 7.19pm and weighed 6 pound. Malachi was born at 7.49 pm and weighed 7 pound.  Mummy Rebecca did very well I am told and Daddy Lee also managed to 'hang in there'. Well done guys!! :) They are just perfect in every way. Nawwwwwwwwwwwwww Aunty Emma loves you so much xx

Our Week In Pictures

1 I spent a rather sad amount of time trying to figure out how to add an image to some odd tiles I had. After brainstorming I stumbled on using gesso (an acrylic primer). To my utter shock it worked, not perfectly BUT it worked!!

2 Mr Cheeky and his sisters did a lot of drawing. Mr Cheeky decided to display his art work (the fridge was covered) in his room. I saw no harm in that, until he asked me to come and see how 'pretty' the room was. I walked up the hall and briefly noticed a zinc cream tube. I soon learnt why it was there, he had used it as 'blu tack' to decorate his sister's cot.

3 Our peach tree has been a great source of sustenance. The kids have been helping them selves to fruit all week.

4 After some discussion about entertaining yourself and Miss Independents constant cries of boredom I showed her how to make 'card castles' and it was a hit for most of the weekend.

1 The size of the dining and lounge room was bugging me (has been since My Beloved built the walls to make an extra room) and when My Beloved left for Fraser Island I decided they had to go!!

2 The night the walls were due to be knocked down the girls and I had Maccas for dinner, Littlest Miss missed out as usual and as usual she was not impressed! We sat around the table talking about our day and we had some laughs at some of the things that were said.

3 Is the 'before' photo. The black wall was stripped of the family pics and I had long given up on painting the brown wall white to make it 'disappear'. Littlest Miss slept for a few hours that day and Mr Cheeky managed to not wake her up with his constant singing.

4 Little Miss was being cute all day.

1 The back side of the black wall. I took a million pictures of the knocking down process and it must be said I was excited, even the mess didn't bother me... then.

2 It was a hot day and my brother worked up a sweat. He had just finished a 26 hour stint on a fishing boat the day before and had come home from work an hour earlier, he is a good brother, I think I'll keep him!

3 the fine dust from the crushed bricks and mortar was everywhere and after day 1 I decided that I'd use dust covers the next day. I took me three hours to dust everything but the floors, walls and doors then I used most of the sheets in my hall cupboard to cover everything.

4 Dust, mess and excitement.

1 Day two saw my brother bring out the 'Big guns' and instead of using a hammer he used a hammer drill and I made him clean up the rubble!

2 Mr Cheeky, who thinks his Uncle is exceptionally cool had to be told to go away from the 'worksite' regularly through out the morning.

3 With the walls gone I realised just how much space we had again and just how much more tiling My Beloved still has to do! ( Something he noticed when he came home and he said it with a sigh)

4 I found this clock and I had to have it, of course it does not work, at present it is about three hours slow!!!

1 My Beloved and I  got excited about buying the paint and cornicing required to start on the finishing touches... so we painted and painted and painted... the wall with the fruit salad plant stencil still is not finished...

2 LOOK AT ALL THE SPACE! :)

3 We used carpet squares to cover the untiled floor in the lounge room so we did not have to see the old painted concrete floors. ( The whole area will be tiled, but not before Xmas.)

4 It was 7pm when My Beloved and Miss Independent put the carpet squares down ( Miss Independent 'created'  the 'design'). It only took twenty minutes, they make a good team!

1 I found this old cast iron bed, with wheels and I bought it, only to discover that the rods that hold the base were missing... I am still working on that one but it should be easy enough. I hope.

2 The clock, again...

3 My Beloved earned himself a caramel tart, yes a very basic one, but I am not a dessert chef! ( Yes I cheated and used the canned caramel AND a pre maid tart shell - what?

4 I saw this sign at our local auto shop and I had to have it. The graphics and colour were what drew me to it, it was not until Biggest Miss questioned the message that I actually realised what it said. Ooops.

1 Littlest Miss was a very good girl all week considering we were very busy.

2 I was on top of the world going on (and on and on and on) about all the space we had since those walls were knocked down.

3 Mr Cheeky was his usual cheeky self. There were a MILLION pictures of him through out the week, however he was unfortunately naked in just about ALL of them.

4 We went to a B.B.Q on Friday night ( a well deserved break) and we had a great time Thanks TANIA!! ;)  She gave Little Miss a talking cookie jar ( can't imagine why she'd give it away as he has such a way with words...)

How was your week?

Postnatal Depression My Beloved's Experience

This post is from My Beloveds point of view, from his experience I have written it but tried to write it as close to what he said as possible. It is just HIS opinion and he does not speak for all men and he and I talk quite bluntly and truthfully to each other when it comes to women/men point of view, if you need to hear things in an incredibly tactful way, then you do not ask My Beloved his opinion as you will get it , nicely but bluntly. I have softened the conversation somewhat and he didn't elaborate to much more than what is written here.

When I read my last post about my experience with Postnatal Depression to My Beloved he joked about how no one knew how he had suffered for nearly two years with a 'nutter' of a wife.  'What ever!' I had laughed at him.

'No', he said to me 'I am serious. It can ruin marriages and when the men leave they are always the 'bastards' but it is bloody hard to live with someone who has Postnatal Depression. I mean if they have been together for a short time and then they have a kid together and the girlfriend/wife suffers from Postnatal Depression a lot of guys would just think this is just not worth it. I mean, you were acting like a crazy lady!'

'Yes OK, we have established that.' I always say to people when talking about the way I felt during my experience and looking back on it that I was a crazy person. The wording I use isn't exactly comforting in nature and I'd like to say that crazy is most definitely NOT the way I see or view people suffering from postal depression, I see someone that just needs a bit of help because I remember what it feels like, but when I think about the things I felt ( like the paranoia and even the only time I thought something very disturbing which was when I was driving home from a birthday party along the highway and I just thought I wonder what would happen if I just let go of the steering wheel? I was not going to and I had no plans to but I was concerned that I had even thought it!)  When I think about all that now I am amazed at how different I was thinking and feeling and how much I just was not me!

'From my point of view, and maybe not all men but definitely some men would feel the same,' My Beloved said ' Imagine you have come home from work whether it is every night or every few days or weeks and you have been working hard. You have to work hard because you are providing for your family, so you have all that stress as well and you come home to either a miserable crying woman and everything is a mess or maybe everything is clean but your wife is madly vacuuming the floors not really even acknowledging you. And just acting plain crazy. It sucks. You'd like to say for god sake go to the doctor and take some pills because you really need them! But you cant because you don't know how they will react, you cant say anything to them because they will either burst into tears or start screaming at you.

 It is hard because you can not fix the problem and you don't know what to do. If I helped you or tried to you either didn't notice or just yelled at me for how I did it or what I did. If I wanted to get you out of the house, you fought me on it. I kinda just gave up and just handled it. But some guys don't want to do that,it is really hard and they leave and I do not blame them at all. You should talk about that too. The woman is most definitely not alone in the suffering. I know that she can not help it but it should be said that the partner and the kids even suffer it too.'

'I'd feel bad for working but I'd have to work and I probably was even glad to get away at times too I'd be worried all the time and kind of dreading coming home. I don't know about all women but you wont let people help you and I couldn't do anything until you asked for the help and then I knew what to do because you told me what you needed me to do. Men are not like women we don't sit around 'putting' ourselves in women shoes saying 'oh I wonder how I would feel if I were in her shoes? Maybe I  should do this or this to help. Well I don't  Anyway, I just thought you should talk about how it can effect the marriage and the family too, maybe people don't think about it like that but it is very hard to deal with for everyone.'

When I asked My Beloved what he thought someone suffering from Postnatal Depression should do he said.

'Go to a doctor, take the medication they give you or talk to someone, because it is not just you suffering and if your partner knows what to do to help you, he will.'

Postnatal Depression My Experience

Yesterday I watched a Vlog by Naomi over at Seven Cherubs about her experience with Postnatal Depression. 

It made me think. It is something that effects up to 1 in 10 of women during pregnancy and rises to 1 in seven  in the months following the birth.  It is something that many women do not talk about as they feel a sense of failure as a mother. Postnatal Depression Awareness Week is about encouraging women to talk about their experiences of something that usually is suffered in silence and to end the stigma that is attached.

So I thought that I too would share my experience with postnatal and antenatal depression. I have been as honest and open as possible because you can not tell someone that it is OK if you can not be open and honest about your experience. I will start by saying not everyone wants to harm their child when they suffer from postnatal depression some feel the opposite way ( as was the case for me) I felt as though I had to protect my children from people trying to kidnap them or just 'take them away' from me. I know one woman who was waiting for her child's 'real' parents to collect him for many months, it effects people differently. There is NO shame in it and just telling someone can ease the suffering incredibly.

During my pregnancy with Little Miss (11 in January) I suffered from antenatal depression, I was not aware of it, even when I found myself sitting on my front veranda, head in my hands with tears streaming down my face. I remember thinking it was strange and I had no idea how long I had been crying or why. The pregnancy was my third and unlike my first two I was sick every time I ate for four months, I would gag every time I smelt meat cooking, yet would only be able to eat steak and mashed potato for every meal. I came down with what I now think was whopping cough and I coughed uncontrollably for the rest of the pregnancy and until Little Miss was 6 months old, day and night.

 Like the pregnancy itself the labour was traumatic and I will just say anyone contemplating a drug free birth is either very stupid or brave. I will also say to husbands of labouring women DO NOT put your hands anywhere near the bed frame, if your partner can not have pain relief shaking the frame of the bed helps, if your hand is in the way... well, it will hurt, a lot... you might even get a tear or two in your eye! After stopping three times on the way into the world Little Miss said hello by biting my nipple and I had a cracked nipple ( eventually both) for the next 8 months. After the birth and the nipple biting episode I just laid there with this new baby feeling nothing other than tired and when I think back a little numb.

It was not until Little Miss was three months old that I realised I had Postnatal Depression. My beloved worked away for sometimes three weeks at a time. I think even if he had of been home every night I still would have suffered as severely as I did but maybe not for as long, as he would have noticed my not sleeping for sometimes as many as three days and nights in a row. I was so paranoid about my children being kidnapped that if I went to a room baby went with me even when she was sleeping she was either in the pram or in a sling. I didn't want anyone to visit and if someone did I would mutter 'Oh for god sake what are they doing here.' I'd even consider hiding!

 I had head aches every morning, the skull stabbing kind and they would kick in at 9ish and not leave until well after five. I had to force myself to send The Man Child and Biggest Miss to school because I realised that no one actually was planning on kidnapping them, it was just in my head, but I couldn't really take that chance and I could never really believe that they were safe. Every single day was an excruciating, lonely  and yet at the same time numb experience. I started to obsess over certain things being done, for me it  was the dishes and the clothes washing. I felt that IF I could just keep those two jobs always done then 'everything  would be OK'. Of course there were days when nothing was done and I'd just lie on the couch with Little Miss and just not move.

I trusted no one and I mean NO ONE. Not My Beloved, not my friends, not even my mother and certainly no one outside of the family, every one was trying to take my children off me as far as I was concerned. When I did leave the house, which was very rare I put on a cheerful smile and pretended to be 'normal', unless you have had to do that, you truly have no idea how exhausting that is. When I did speak to people I was on 'autopilot' When My Beloved came home I would promise myself that THIS time I would just say to him.

'Adam, I have Postnatal Depression. I need to see a doctor.' But even though I would go into the bathroom and look at my reflection in the mirror and would give myself a 'pep talk'

 'Emma, you have postnatal depression, it is in your head, no one wants to take your kids. Tell Adam to take you to a doctor!'  I never could, because I didn't trust him either!

 So for 18 months after Little Miss was born I battled on telling myself in those moments of panic that it was not real and I HAD to go to a doctor.  Biggest Miss became seriously ill and I was  convinced she was going to die but luckily the doctors gave her the 'silver bullet' and she was much better I will not go on with that as it was the most traumatic experience as a mother. So awfully scary.

Instead when he was home I could sleep and it was because I obviously felt that My Beloved would be able to deal with any attempted kidnappings. ( Yes It sounds so ridiculous doesn't it, but it was very, very real for me at the time) I remember very little of those 18 months, aside from a few scary paranoid moments and a panic attack I had in the shopping centre which I remember clearly as the idea that I did not have enough money for my trolley of groceries became so entrenched in my mind that I stopped in the middle of the isle staring at the trolley then the register and with my heart beating out of my chest, I swear it felt as though anyone looking at me could see my chest bulge with each beat. I fought off this almost uncontrollable urge to grab Little Miss out of the trolley and literally run screaming out of the shopping centre.

 I managed to get the groceries without any payment issues, though the whole time I fought off tears and was convinced my card would decline. I remember only saying over and over to myself  'Keep it together Emma, You have money in your card. This is just in your head. It is not real. You are just having a panic attack.' I had to stop myself running with my trolley to the car and if I had of been able to actually feel something other then fear and panic I would have cried uncontrollably and just collapsed in a heap.

 There was the time I found myself hanging out my washing in the rain at ONE THIRTY in the morning because if I just hung that out everything would be OK. I would have to force myself to sleep and it was only from pure exhaustion that I ever did. There are so many other moments like that I will not elaborate or you could be here for a very long time.

The moment I realised that I must get help and tell My beloved was when I had my younger sister staying not long after Biggest Miss was out of hospital and Little Miss was about 18 months. I was starting to go longer between these 'moments' of panic and was a little less paranoid about the children being kidnapped, besides Little Miss had discovered that holding her breath as a tantrum was very effective and I had suddenly found a new paranoid fear, choking ( choking children is the one thing that gets me very unsettled, very easily).

I was watching TV with my sister and Little Miss started to stir ( she was on my bed ) I got up straight away as I didn't want her to fall off. I brought her out into the lounge room and breast fed her I remembered seeing  tea spoon on the bench, it bugged me so much that when Little Miss had finished her food I put her comfortably on the big floor cushion and got up to put the spoon away ( remember everything would be OK if the dishes and washing was done.) As I did that I suddenly remembered Little Miss had been stirring in the bedroom and went in to get her, of course she was not there as I had just fed her, but I did not remember that AT ALL and I was immediately convinced that the reason she was not on my bed was because she had fallen off and had died. YES you read that right. There was no emotion about it, it was to my mind a fact, it had happened. When I walked around to find her on the floor and she was not there, or the other side of the bed ,I went in a split second, from being convinced she was dead to convinced she was kidnapped and I began shouting to my sister 'where is she, where is she?' As soon as my sister told me Little Miss was where I had put her on the floor cushion in the lounge room I remembered it and I sat down and cried and knew I had to get help.

As this is incredibly long I shall post a part two later this evening it will be from My beloved's point of view he feels that it is important for people to realise that men suffer in away from postnatal as well, through their partners experience with it. If you are reading this and recognise yourself, a friend or partner do not delay ask for help you do not need to suffer on your own in fact I PROMISE YOU it will be so much better when you let someone know! There is no shame in it I do not feel bad for having experienced this I feel stronger because I managed to survive something I would not wish on anyone, ever! You are not alone! Talk to anyone but definitely see your doctor. Go to  BeyondBlue for more information.

Feel free to share your experience in the comments or with your friends lets get rid of the stigma and feelings of failure and weakness for those that suffer from it and those that do not.

'Suck it up princess' really only applies to kicking your little toe or bumping your funny bone it does not apply to PND