The Snake

For the past 3 weeks, every now and then, we have seen a snake, basking on the pine mulch of our garden right next to our veranda. Every now and then when on of us steps onto the path from our veranda into the yard we were alerted to its presence by the rustle of plants and the sight of a thick black 'thing' disappearing out of sight.

'Its a Red Belly Black.' I'd say. 'Thank god they are not aggressive snakes.' I'd add... as though I know all there is to know.

'Be careful of snakes!' is something that everyone leaving the house hears every spring and summer here. Because we live in a country with many snakes and some of them bordering on the most poisonous in the world, it is something every kids has heard growing up. We however live in a rural setting and our property has a lot of bushland, well scrub.

My gardens are big, thick with mulch and have a lot of grassy and bushy plants PERFECT for a lot of native animals, insects and reptiles. Which was kinda the plan. But the chances of some not so nice reptiles is tripled because of it. We have to be aware of them. No one spends their time freaking out about it, but in the back of our minds we are always aware there are snakes around somewhere.

So when My Beloved was having his morning coffee in his chair on the veranda the other morning and he heard a tapping sound in the Guinea pig cage ( the guinea pig is now free range). He thought the guinea pig had returned to its cage. Without a care in the world he turned his head to see our furry friend, But was instead witness to a big thick black snake.

'Holy shit!' he said as he pushed himself up high into the chair and froze.

'What?' The Man Child and I asked as we walked slowly towards him.

'Get back.' he hissed. 'It is in the guinea pig cage. Black snake.'

'Oh look there it is.' I said. 'Red Belly Black.' I added

'That's not a Red Belly Black!' The Man Child said

'Of course it is!' My  Beloved said.

'Well It isn't, Red belly Blacks don't have brown heads guys.'

'It doesn't have a brown head.' My Beloved snapped at him. My Beloved is petrified of snakes. He can handle tree snakes and pythons but any other type of snake scares the poo poo out of him. If he can avoid them then he is happy but to have one so close to his 'relaxing' area was just too much for him.

The morning went on and I was out on the veranda watering my new plants when I heard a rustle in a large clump of Madagascan Irises. I turned and looked. Nothing. I stared, still nothing. I continued on watering and then turned again to see a thick black snake in the garden out side the veranda of The Man Child's room. Hmmmm this snake is not going away I thought. It is going to have to die. Now it must be said that it is illegal to kill snakes in Australia DO NOT ASK ME WHY. But I was prepared to kill it if I had too. My family are more important than a snake when it comes down to it. EVERY TIME!

 This is where the snake and I weighed each other up. The gardens look after them selves and even though they do need some attention the local wildlife love them birds nest in them, Echidnas visit, lizards and  snakes are frequent visitors too.

'Ash! Get your father and a shovel.' I called out 'AND HURRY UP!' Rule number one when it comes to snakes in your vicinity do not take your eyes off it. Know where it is and get the hell away. I stood still and watched it as it slowly moved through the garden and as for the saying 'if you can hear it, it isn't a snake', well no one told this snake that. That's when I saw it had a brown head, a perfectly straight line marked the change in colour and I thought. OK NOT a red belly black and NOT a good snake. It was two metres long and I was now very concerned. 'HURRY UPPPPPP!" I yelled. The snake stopped moving and flicked its tongue in the air and we looked at each other.


Luckily My Beloved and The Man Child came to the rescue.

'It is not a good snake, scare it off and do not go near it.' I yelled at them as they went through the garden with the shovels. I ran inside and got my mobile phone. I ran back out and stood from a safe distance with my thumb on zero, I was ready dial triple 0 the second anyone made a sudden move or said ouch. Luckily no on did.

  'It was a Coastal Taipan.' I told them later, 'I Googled it.' And we all know Google doesn't lie, don't we?  ;p

THIS IS a Taipan. The snake we saw looked exactly the same except I must add his scales seemed 'neater' and his eyes more round. So he didn't look quite as evil as this thing.

The next morning we were off to a local pool to cool down when we saw the 'Snake Catcher.' After five or so minutes of chatting with the man about the snake we had seen the day before My Beloved came over to where we were set up and said.

'It was a tree snake by the sounds of it.'

'What?' I asked scanning the water and doing a head count.

' The snake. It was a tree snake.'

'Coastal Taipan.' I said 'Why? How does he know? Did you tell him how big and fat the thing was?'

'Yeah. He said if it was hanging around the house for so long it definitely was not a Taipan or a Brown or a venomous snake. They do not like people. We would have been bitten long before now. Tree snakes can get that big and fat and people just think poisonous snake when they see something like that.'

Well, I feel bad for the poor guy now.' I said doing another head count. 'Oh well. You learn something new every day. And worse still, your not a brave as I thought you were either.' I laughed.

'Brave is doing something you are scared to do. That's brave!' My Beloved laughed and he sat down and did a head count.