Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Sometimes, Being Nice Is Not On My Priority List

Because my mystery illness has yet to actually kill me outright and because this morning I woke up feeling sorta OK. I decided I would go out for an hour or two and visit a friend (you know and share the germs ;). I took Miss Thinker with me, Mr Cheeky and Littlest Miss too.

We pulled up outside her house at 9.03. She lives right next to a school so I figured if she was not back from school drop off already she wouldn't be far. I waited half an hour in the car, listening to complaining about boredom and a tummy ache. I ignored both as often a 'sore tum tum' is Miss Thinker speak for 'I am bored.' I decided my friend was just going to miss out on my wonderful company and left after 9.30. 

'But I want to stay here mum.' Mr Cheeky whined.

'We can't mate,' I said and drove off.

'My tummy is actually sore you know mum.' Miss Thinker told me as we came up to a round-a-bout and I just Mmmmmed in reply. I pulled into a parking space mentally congratulating myself for actually parking straight and in between both lines ( I some times am what you might call 'parking  challenged') and got out to find a trolley to 'load' the kids into. I was only there to get some rehydration powder for myself, The Man Child and Littlest Miss. 

It was then it happened.

 'I am sick mum!!'

'What? Are you OK?. Nooooo, throw up on the jumper. The jumper!' I said as I ran around the front of the car and opened the passenger side door. By the time I got there Miss Thinker had managed to throw up on the seat, the door and the floor.. the jumper how ever was spotless. 

'Ok. Do you need to throw up again?'

'No, I am absolutely fine now!' Miss Thinker smiled. 'Can I still come in the shops mum?'

'Yes, of course. You cant stay in the car.' I said wiping up what I could with my jumper. 'Just let me get the trolley.' and I walked off to find one. 

THANK YOU TROLLEY BOYS FOR DOING YOUR JOB PROPERLY AND ACTUALLY PUTTING THE TROLLEY"S BACK IN THE STORE... BUT would it really be so bad if you 'missed' one or two for us mums that do not like to leave our kids in the car park to hunt down a trolley??

'Ok,' I said to Mr Cheeky as I opened the car door and unbuckled his belt, 'In you go.'

'Mum. Lexie is disgusting ,hey?'

'No she isn't. She is just sick. Poor Lexie.'

'He said I was a disgusting doodle when you were getting the trolley mum.' 

'Don't be mean to your sister Aidan!'

'Naaw OK mum.'

It took us five minutes to get into the shopping centre thanks to the worlds worst trolley (why do I never learn and check them first?) and by the time we walked into the chemist I just wanted to go home. Any energy that  I had woken up with was quickly diminishing. I stood by the shelf of re-hydration solutions trying to figure which was better for the variety of ages in our household, seeing as in my mind, we were in for a spew bug.

Finally an assistant took pity on me and came to help. She started with her educated spiel but I just was not interested and (rudely, I guess) I interrupted her mid sentence and said 'Sorry, I have 7 kids, three have been sick, as am I. This one here,' pointing to Miss Thinker ' has just vomited so I want the biggest container of hydration solution you have. Ages from 9 months to adults. I can only assume we are in for a vomiting bug and want to be ready.'

'Of course.' she said and walked off to find a big container and checked with the pharmacist as to what ages it was appropriate for. She apologised for the cost of everything and I told her not to worry as money didn't matter when it came to our health.      ( though My Beloved was feeling the opposite way when I told him the price!) 

Whilst all that was happening, Mr Cheeky took it upon himself to be a total shit. Yes I said it! He spent a great deal of the time sitting on Miss Thinkers head saying, 'Oh NO. I  have  fallen  and   can  not  get  up.' Eventually I reefed him out of the trolley and on to my hip where he took great pleasure in trying to get down and the more I said stop it mate. The funnier the 'game' became for him.

When walking out the door of the shopping centre trying to control the worlds worst trolley down a slope, on an angle, behind an elderly man with a walking stick, moving slower than a slug I was just about ready to snap. I ignored the fleeting fantasy of just knocking the man out of the way whilst screaming ' For god sake man, get a chair!'

I packed the kids and bags into the car I sat down behind the wheel and was just about to start the car when some idiot was driving slowly, but most definitely, surely INTO my parked (did I mention how well I had parked it?) car. 

'What the hell do you think you are doing!' I shouted. 'Piss off!' (yes, I was not calm by any means)

The woman looked at me kinda hurt and I just gave her a 'what the hell is wrong with you?' look. She corrected her steering and continued off to scare some other driver, no doubt. As I checked where  I was going before I pulled out of the parking spot to finally drive home I noticed an elderly couple looking at me in disgust. I smiled and waved, turned the radio up and drove towards the safety of home. 

Honestly, what is wrong with people! ;)

I am happy to report I returned home, with out incident at about 11. Ahhhhhh it is GOOD to be home! :D


  1. :( that's awful! And I bet your car smells a treat! Hope you are feeling better soon x

  2. Thank you Elissa. I got home and started cleaning it properly when my 'darling' husband informed me that spewing was not allowed in the 'new car'... but if you ask him nothing is allowed in the new car ;p

  3. Sounds like my husband!


Leave me a comment, don't be shy! Just be nice... I have feelings you know! ;)